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A Journey to The Rock Bottom of Trauma

“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”  - Rumi  As someone who has recovered from what we now call Complex PTSD, I want to share my most important discovery, the one principle and insight that saved my life, altered my destiny, and ultimately led to profound healing. The discovery? Awakening to my own indestructible Presence. Discovering who I really am, that calm, surrendered place in the midst of the somatic, emotional and psychological storm of the body-mind. The holy light in the darkness. No matter how intense and terrifying my feelings got over the years; no matter how tense and contracted the muscles in my body became; no matter how my mind raced and spun and catastrophized over...

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The Myth of Vulnerability

You don’t have to be emotionally vulnerable all of the time, with everyone you meet. You don’t have to unload your vulnerability 24 hours a day – to strangers on the street, to people you have just met, to the public on Facebook.  You never, ever have to share what you do not feel ready to share.  And maybe you never feel ready to share, and that's perfect too.  Let’s not make ‘being vulnerable’ into a new dogma, or a new religion, or another ‘should’.  You are allowed to have strong boundaries around your vulnerability. You are allowed to withhold your precious, fragile, sensitive heart, your deepest, most private and secret feelings and longings and thoughts and fears, until you...

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I Am A Woman and So!?

I get into an argument with a man, he slaps me, I feel the pain, yet they tell me I provoked him. I should have been quiet, I should have been patient. I should apologize to him.I get into an argument with a man, I slap him, they tell me I have no respect, no home training. I should have been quiet, I should have been patient. I should apologize to him. (With regards to the African custom where it is wrong for a woman to slap her husband).Because I am a woman, I don’t have a right to be angry. So, the degree of my innocence is directly proportional to the degree of my silence in the face of oppression...

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The Joy of Loneliness

“I am lonely. So very lonely,” she told me one day."Please, tell me of your loneliness", I said.“Nothing can help me, you see. No person. No substance.No experience the world has to offer. Everything offers only brief respite.I soon plunge back into my own loneliness.Where nothing and no-one can reach me.On this tiny planet spinning in infinite night,I am lonesome. I feel far from wherever things are.I have not been able to escape this feeling.I think it has been with me since the beginning of time.But then, I tell myself, I must turn towards this desolation.Let me no longer be ashamed or frightened of my alienation. Let me own it, hold it close.And let me cry out into the clear...

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We Are Warriors of Anxiety

Sometimes anxiety lives as a gentle rumble in the background of our daily lives. But sometimes, the floodgates of our experience are flung wide open, and raw anxiety surges in the body like a tidal wave. Maybe we are going through a tough time in our lives, a crisis, a change, the end of a relationship, an illness, the sickness or death of a loved one, or the falling-away of an old dream or "safety net", and scary thoughts trigger an anxiety response in the body. Maybe our anxiety comes out of nowhere. Maybe we are touching into a past trauma, and old painful feelings are threatening to emerge into conscious awareness. Maybe we are simply imagining things that aren’t...

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