Do you spend time in the word of God? The more you spend time in His Word, the more you will perceive your life with His blessings. This is a life worth living.
I used to only pray when I needed a blessing. I used to show gratitude only when I got something. Until one day I decided that I was going to devote more time being grateful for everything in my life and to also learn more about God's Word. I may be new to understanding His Word through the bible, but I've adapted to understanding His Word through the music I listen to, movies/YouTube videos I watch, and books I read. I believe that God won't judge you on how you obtain His Word, as long as you are putting in the effort to learn it. This is especially ideal for those who are new to scripture. Through understanding His Word, you will notice a dramatic change withjn your life.
I am a new believer. And what sparked my curiosity was seeing so many people I follow on social media talk about how much they have been saved through His Word. I wanted to understand what they meant by being "saved." Dealing with past trauma and panic/anxiety/depression, I thought there was no way I could be saved. This is just something I needed to learn how to cope with. For about 7 years, I idolized the lifestyle surroundings the healing powers of crystals, chakras and gemstones. But those "things" didn't get rid of the issues I was dealing with. No matter how many affirmations, mantras, vision boards, etc I created, something was still missing. I had been curious about Christianity for a while but I was just sticking my toes into the water, getting a feel for it.
It was in May of 2020, I started to get books with Christianity in them, watching movies, listening to Christian hip hop/rap more frequently that I started to notice a shift within myself. I couldn't explain it but I totally recognized it and so did people around me. I started to pray more, talk with God more and even started bible study on a weekly basis. This may not be for some, I was there at one point. I refused to ever read any scripture that had to deal with the bible. I have my moments where I doubt this path I'm on, but whenever I have a doubt, something occurs in my life that validates I'm on the right path.
I encourage anyone who is curious to just take a couple more steps. Don't get discouraged. You are curious for a reason. That curiosity is a door opening. Walk through it. If you aren't satisfied with where you are at in life, what do you got to lose? You are trying to fill a void. Give God a chance to fill that void with His Word and His Love that He has for you. You won't know the outcome unless you try.