I noticed I've been in deep thought lately. In deep thought about this spiritual path I've been on. I've read all these books, articles, worked with so many people that have guided me to my own awareness. Been told what to do and what not to do. I've followed all the guidance I've read and have been taught. So why do I still feel lost? Not completely, just a bit.
Through my business, I have reached out and guided many to their own awareness. I know this is my purpose. So what am I missing?
Time to go into meditation and ask the Angels for guidance. For an understanding as to why do I feel disconnected, in a way. So I close my eyes, take a couple deep breaths....
"You are not being your authentic self". Is what I hear.
I come back to reality and sit with those words in my head. I thought I was my authentic self. What the heck is going on? OMG. Aha. Who am I trying to fool? Let me explain.
I came from a different lifestyle then most females I know. Left home when I was 15 years old. My circle of people were drug dealers, bikers, criminals, etc. That was my world since I left home. I tried being who I thought I needed to be to fit in with their lifestyle. Following the rules I was taught by them. I was completely caught up with those of who society classified as "trouble makers". So now, on this spiritual path, I noticed I got caught into the same cycle of trying to follow the rules of spirituality.
As you are reading this you may be wondering what rules am I referring to. If you have done spiritual work for yourself before, you can relate to what I'm about to list: no vulgar language, affirmations for positivity, let go of your ego, the need to act a certain way, eat a certain way, live a certain way, have a certain mindset, use certain vocabulary, etc.
When did spirituality become a religion? Who made up these rules? Where did these rules come from? As I sit back I think "what the heck am I doing?" How can I be my authentic self if I'm trying to follow someone else's rules?
Fuck this shit. I am me. I swear. I have tattoos. I'm sexual. I argue. I can be negative at times. My grammar may have mistakes. I have my ups and downs. I will not get rid of my ego. I will do what I want, when I want, how I want. I will surround myself with whomever I want. Why? Because this is my journey. My purpose is to inspire others to find themselves and to be themselves. My teachings are for guidance purposes. What you do with my guidance is entirely up to you. I am not to judge you. Your experiences are your experiences to learn from. The choice of it being right or wrong are up to you, not me.
I think we need to focus on finding our authentic self. Inspiring each other and loving each other. I'm not going to say without judgement because we may have some judgement. The point is that as long as we are aware of our thoughts and have good intentions with what we do, that's truly what matters. We all have an opinion. We can only perceive what is right or wrong for ourselves.
Enough with the rules. We are all human. We have enough rules that our governments have applied for us to follow. It's time that we be our authentic selves. The people that are to connect with us on our path will find their way to connect. We have no control of our future. The future is unpredictable. It's time to just be ourselves in this moment and every moment that follows.
If you don't like what I share, it's ok. I still love you. Follow what resonates with you, not what others tell you.