We spend our whole life meeting new people. From childhood friends, to colleagues, to dating and possibly marriage. We are always connecting with new people. Getting to know them.
Throughout my life, and many can relate, I’ve meet thousands of people. Through my jobs, friends, partying, just about anywhere. I am a sociable woman. Everyone has a story to tell so I love hearing people talk. People’s thoughts and perception are an open door for knowledge. Whether you agree with them or not, listening to people talk teaches you something about yourself and them. How they view themselves, how they view others and how they view the world.
When dating, you spend time with that person. You get to know them. There likes, their dislikes, insecurities, pleasures, dreams, etc. You know them from what they tell you. You know them from observing their actions.
But how well do you know that person? I hear people say “I’ve been with my spouse for 10, 20+ years. I’ve known them since childhood. I know them better than they know themselves.” But how do you assume that?
You know what they are always thinking? Because, in my opinion, you only truly know someone if you know their thoughts. You hear it on the news, spouse killing their partner after x amount of years. You hear people say “I would have never assumed that of them. They were so kind and to themselves.”
We only perceive others through our eyes. If we want to see the good in people, we will not assume the worse. If we only see the bad in another, we will not even be able to acknowledge the good in them.
People change. It’s up to that person if they want to change or not. If someone changes, they won’t be looking for permission to do so. They will just do it.
You never know someone’s intentions. How you view someone is up to you, not them. Some accept bad behaviour because of the excuse to being exposed to it for so long. Is it right? To some they would say NO. But who are you to judge. To that person, that behaviour is tolerable. They accept it because they know how to just deal with it and move on. So then we judge others on their own perception of right and wrong.
People need to focus on themselves. If you accept a behaviour from someone, you can’t complain about it. It’s your choice to stay in a situation or not. If you know someone that is in a situation you wouldn’t tolerate, don’t judge. Because that same person could be judging you on your decisions and you wouldn’t appreciate it.
Think of the ones that have caused you pain in some way. They were part of your life. They made you happy at one point. Things may have gone sour, but in a moment of your life with them, you were happy. So focus on the good memories. The troublesome moments were there to teach you about yourself. How? Their actions showed you what you wanted and didn’t want in a friendship/relationship/partnership. So what did you learn from the experience?
Because going through the experiences you’ve been through has brought you to this moment. It has evolved you to who you are today. You have changed over the years, so anyone can change.
So back to the original question,
Do you really ever know someone fully?