I guess it’s time to write something on a personal note. It’s been a while.
I’ve been in a dark place for some time now. Needed to take a break from my business and soul search.
Didn’t think it was going to be this overwhelming.
From my surroundings drastically changing within a blink of an eye, my whole perception of life changed. And it wasn’t for the good. In the beginning I was angry and fed up. Realizing that these emotions were triggering deep inner truth to come out.
You see, many people can’t handle their own truth. I used to be one of them. Now I am learning to embrace it. It’s not easy. I’ve been dealing with severe panic episodes on and off for a couple weeks now.
I kept myself busy which made me think I was doing great. Not realizing that it was my way of distracting myself from my truth. So when I finally had time to myself, everything came rushing to the surface.
I’ve been in a struggle with negative thoughts for quite some time now. No one really would have noticed because I know how to put on a face. This time around, my inner truth isn’t allowing me to put on the mask.
It’s time I deal with what I need to deal with. Change can be scary. Especially because of the fact that you don’t know the outcome. But sitting around stressing about the possible outcomes is even more debilitating because you are allowing time to go by. Your life slips through your fingertips and then years go by and you’re like “what the heck just happened?”
I’ve come to realize that who you surround yourself with has a powerful impact on your life. I’m not blaming certain people in my life for the reasoning of where I’m at, it’s MY choice to walk away or stay. I’m just realizing that I truly believe it’s time for some changes. To better myself. It’s definitely not going to be easy. It’s going to take a lot of work. But I’m not going to give up.
This is my life. This is my journey.