Panic Attack, You Suck

Dealing with a panic disorder sucks at times.
I mean I truly know that nothing will harm me and I won’t die, but when you are in the core of a panic attack it seems your whole world is crashing.

Your hands start sweating. Your heart starts racing. You get lightheaded. You start thinking that something is wrong. This isn’t a panic attack, there must be something wrong with me this time. No matter how many times I have gone through this before, this is different. Your mind will spiral into all the “what if” scenarios.

The truth is dealing with this panic disorder has been chaos. I’ve come to realize this revolves around stress and high emotion. It took a long time but through all the work I’ve done on personal growth and without medication, I’ve become aware of what actually happens before, during and even after I get panic episodes.

You go from feeling great, to a thought. It all starts from a thought. You probably are saying “but I wasn’t even thinking anything.” The truth is that subconsciously you actually were. You just weren’t aware of it. And it’s that thought, when it surfaces to your awareness, is what creates an emotion. Whether it be excitement, sadness, anger, stress, fear, etc. Your emotion to that thought has the ability to create panic or not. So when people would tell me that annoying phrase “it’s all in your head” they actually were right. It’s not easy to get just be like “ok mind, let’s just switch gears”, but when you truly understand your panic you may understand what I’m saying.

Just my truth for the moment.

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