Relationship: The Rupture and The Repair


First there is the rupture. And then there is the repair.

Old pain resurfaces, erupting from the depths of our unconscious.

The status quo - our old sense of 'security' - shatters into a billion pieces.

We feel disoriented, groundless, scattered, not knowing where to turn.

An old world has crumbled, a new world has not yet formed. Have we lost each other?

We encounter the strange space of Now, pure presence, raw, birthing us here, unprotected by old dreams, nothing to cling to, nothing to grasp.

Even our outdated concepts of 'God' crumble to dust.

And then, and then, we remember to breathe, and we feel our feet on the ground, and we observe the spinning mind rather than losing ourselves in it.

Our world is out of control but perhaps we are not.

We feel what we feel. Afraid. Angry. Numb. Sad. Lonely. Unsafe. Safe. Whatever. We commit to feeling it fully today, to not dissociating from it this time. A feeling is just a feeling, not a fact, and presence can hold it, and we are stronger than we know.

We wail, weep, scream, but we are repairing, my love. We have broken to heal, ruptured to mend, shattered to be whole. Old energies have emerged now to be blessed with love, acceptance, tenderness, forgiveness, understanding.

We can't go back to the way things were. We must let the old 'security' die.

(It was no security for us, anyway.)

We cannot un-see what we have seen. But we can be present with each other, today. And we can take each step consciously now, not automatically, habitually, but mindfully, slowly, with care, with listening and with open hearts.

We can flush this rupture with awareness. We can stay close in this time of vulnerability.

We cannot go back. But we can go Present. We can go closer to ourselves.

Let us walk this pathless path now, together and alone, with courage and new conviction. For this rupture is only a signpost, a mindfulness bell, and our path of repair is more intelligent that we can fathom now.

We will get through this.

It is written in the stars:

First there is the rupture. And then there is the repair.

~ Jeff Foster


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