There have been times in my own life when I felt unable to go on, unable to stand or even breathe.
When I felt that I’d lost everything, that nothing was possible, that the void was the only life, that annihilation was home.
I reached the edge of my sanity, the edge of my knowing.
I could not hold myself up.
I was carried by forces unnameable and vast.
Through the blackness, new life emerged.
The mind cannot understand.
(Forgive the mind, it is young.)
And so, even though you feel lonely and abandoned now, friend, frightened and lost, even though your old reference points have collapsed, even though the future seems foggy and bleak, know that you are not alone; many others are walking with you (you cannot see them). This is a well-trodden path of devastation. Sometimes we have to break to heal. The wisdom is in the pain, and the pain itself is the path.
You will write your own book of transformation one day. Today, write your book of longing and loss.
Give up. Stop trying so damn hard. Collapse on the ground. Ask it to hold you.
Exhale all the despair of the lost child. Let go of a gone world. Breathe in the night stars.
Return to this mysterious Now.
Listen, listen, the moon is whispering:
“This moment, friend. This moment.”
~ Jeff Foster