By Maria Palumbo

Dear Masculine, You Deserve Better, 


Masculine, society has done you a disservice.

We have told you to kill your soul fire, so as to not offend us.


To be nice husbands, good fathers, have a moral life, and not do the wrong thing, or else. But that keeps you from doing anything at all.


We have told you to ask politely for what you want and never own us.


We ask you to smile sweetly, never push, never demand, never hunger.


To be a washed-out version of a man.


You have been walking around like a sexual anorexic in the name of being good, acting out in ways that bring you shame and pain, because society does not welcome your fullest animal self.


In the name of feminism, we declare we don’t need you, and find you not knowing how to truly let yourself be needed.


If you are fully awake in your sexuality, we like to call you wrong, humiliate you, even put a label on you and cast you out forever without explaining to you exactly what we desire.


But we need you here.


Pulsating, alive, vibrant, awake.


We need that fire in your eyes that light up when you see a beautiful woman.


We need your hands that know just how to touch us so we cannot help but say your name over and over.


We need your “No” and “I desire” more than your “I’m not sure” and “Are you okay?”


We need you calling out the woman in us with trust in our ability for you to handle us, knowing we will not break under you.


During this #MeToo movement, you have become even more careful, you are not allowed to have an opinion, you are not allowed to speak up. And we call this women’s freedom.


We think we are giving our women a greater voice by silencing you, jumping on any word that you may or may not say, and casting you out of our loving embrace forever.


We are hurting ourselves by removing your agency and power.


No, you might not always say the right thing or do the right thing.


Your come-on might be a turn off.


And we will make an adjustment. We will speak up. You must not turn the light off entirely in fear of being too much.


When we tell you to be quiet, speak up.


When we say that your desire is too much, roar it from the rooftops.


When you try to talk yourself into a life of normalcy and empty promises, burn it all down.


We need you alive, undone, dripping with the nectar of life that nourishes us like nothing else.



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