People like to say "Just be yourself", "Be real", or "You can be totally transparent with me", but 99% of the time, this is total bullshit. Here's why:
To be one's True Self is to allow yourself to be unfiltered, wild, unpredictable, offensive, inappropriate, messy, impulsive, horny, volatile, emotional, sensitive, depressed, angry, dangerous, pensive, aloof, needy, and more, often all at the same time. The fact is that most people can't handle that kind of authentically dynamic intensity.
Most people have had very sheltered lives. They haven't had the kind of soul-shattering journey it takes to UNDERSTAND (not just "know" through book knowledge) how to become re-integrated and maintain the fire in your soul, much less help others in this process. Most people take anything that feels unsafe as “offensive” and automatically push it away. They just want you to be unguarded enough for them to feel safe, but not so free that it feels unpredictable and out of their control.
However, there are rare types who can hold safe space for this storm. These are people who have had severely traumatic childhoods, were emotionally pulverized by life, and were reborn in the ashes by have done immense amounts of healing work to become whole again. These people are experts at holding space and empathizing with the messy insanity that gets unleashed, providing you with valuable love & resources, meeting you on the level you need to become integrated in to your own wholeness.
But these special people will only help those who sincerely help themselves. So the question now becomes, are you behaving authentically as an excuse to behave unconsciously, or are you behaving authentically as an opportunity to do the deep, honest, holistic self-work for examining what within you may be pushing people away?
If you are sincere about engaging in self-work and you find yourself needing one of these rare people, rest assured we are out there. You are not alone. We were once as you feel now, and we love you. Through the courage to confront your own healing, you have the potential to be a rare, integrated, and amazing gift to the world. Keep going. Don't suppress yourself to make others feel comfortable. Just reach out and find the right people to connect with.